


Not Letting Go

by NerdyNostalgia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Dreams, M/M, Visions, [Man] is mentioned a few times, taking a chance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 08:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNostalgia/pseuds/NerdyNostalgia
Summary: While in a coma Shiro receives visions of one possible future. Dismayed at what he's shown he decides he's not going to let them dictate his future and takes a chance on love.





	Not Letting Go

Shiro slowly came to as the scenes playing out in his head faded to blackness. His eyes slowly opened as he regained consciousness.

He blinked and resisted the urge to close his eyes again. Even the dim light of the room he was in was almost too bright. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned his head. The amount of effort required to do that surprised him.

But the sight he saw made him feel better.

“Keith. I was dreaming.” His eyes fell onto Keith’s smile and he was transfixed, “You saved me.”

Keith leaned down and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck. The relief he felt was indescribable. Everything was going to be okay because Shiro was going to be okay.

“We saved each other.”

Keith reluctantly pulled away but didn’t get very far. Shiro held onto Keith’s arm weakly. He wanted Keith to remain close. He wanted Keith to stay. His gaze kept falling to Keith’s mouth and in that moment made a decision.

He leaned up slightly and lightly pressed his lips to Keith’s.

He didn’t have the energy for a deeper or longer kiss and laid back down with a smile on his face. He let go of Keith’s arm but kept looking at Keith. He found he really didn’t want to look away. Keith’s eyes were wide as he stared at Shiro. His hand hadn’t moved from Shiro’s chest as his brain tried to process that Shiro really had just kissed him.

He took in Shiro’s smile and felt himself smile back. A blush appeared on his cheeks at the memory of the kiss. It had been feather light but very real.

Their moment was interrupted when they heard noise heading their way on the other side of the door. It opened to reveal the Paladins.

“Hey! Shiro’s awake!”

Shiro grimaced at the noise but otherwise didn’t complain. Keith helped him into a seating position. Neither missed the way that Keith’s hand made it’s way to Shiro’s inner thigh but neither minded. For Keith it was reassurance that Shiro was real and truly in front of him. For Shiro it grounded him and allowed him to focus on something other than the multitude of sensations bombarding his senses.

It was also at that moment that Shiro realised that Krolia and Allura had been present for his kiss with Keith. He felt a blush appear on his own cheeks at the thought of having an audience. He couldn’t deny he felt a bit embarrassed about that but it didn’t make him regret the kiss. He turned to look at him and was almost overwhelmed with the desire to kiss him again.

“Guys! Shiro’s just woken up. Give him some space.” Keith said.

Lance opened his mouth to argue but Allura stepped up to him and touched his arm which drew his attention, “Keith’s right. As happy as we all are that Shiro is awake and okay, he needs to rest.”

“I agree. We all need to rest. It has been an exhausting day for us all and we need to be prepared for what is ahead of us.” Krolia interjected.

Lance, Hunk and Pidge’s faces all fell and Shiro couldn’t help but feel bad for them, “We’ll properly celebrate tomorrow.” He said hoping the words would be comforting.

“Alright. But you better not disappear on us again.” Pidge warned as she readjusted her glasses.

“Don’t worry. Keith would never allow that to happen.” He replied with a slight chuckle.

He chanced a look at Keith’s face and wasn’t surprised to find Keith’s expression to be stoic. He yawned and felt a wave of exhaustion hit him. It seemed being in a physical body and talking was a lot more exhausting then he remembered it to be. He could feel his eyelids drooping and fought to get them open. He slumped towards Keith for a second time.

“Okay guys. Shiro definitely needs to rest. We’ll talk later.” Keith said.

The rest nodded.

“It’s good to have you back Shiro.” Lance said as he walked out of the room with the others.

“It’s good to be back.” Shiro replied although there was no chance of him hearing it.

Keith smiled down at the tired man.

“Where do you want to sleep?” He asked as he tried to keep Shiro upright.

“Anywhere is fine.”

Shiro really wasn’t worried about comfort at the moment. He just wanted somewhere to lie his head. Keith looked around and spotted the small cot on the floor that he and his mother had taken turns sleeping in.

“Come on.”

Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro’s waist and helped manoeuvre him to the cot. Shiro was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Keith watched him for a few moments. He couldn’t believe it. Shiro was back. He was alive. And they had kissed. Shiro had kissed him. But what did it mean? The words that he had spoken in desperation came back to him and he wondered if Shiro remembered the fight at all.

His musings were broken by the doors opening. He looked up and saw his mother leaning against the frame with knowing look on her face. He covered Shiro with a blanket before getting up and heading into the cockpit. He pointedly ignored her.

He sat in the pilot’s seat and began to run some checks on the Black Lion. He turned to Kosmo.

“Keep an eye on him for me.”

The space wolf disappeared in a flash, leaving Keith and Krolia alone.

“So...”

“Don’t.” He turned to look at his mother, “Not yet. We need to talk first.”

She nodded but her eyes shone in a way that made Keith squirm in his seat.

Kosmo did as Keith bade and kept a careful watch on his companion. He watched as Shiro became distressed in his sleep. He had no idea how much time had passed but he knew that this was bad and that Keith needed to know something was happening to his companion. He flashed back into the cockpit to alert Keith that something was happening.

Within his dreams the same scenes that had played while he had been comatose returned. He watched as he grew increasingly distant from the Paladins. They won the war but lost Allura. But worst of all he had lost Keith in the process. Somehow they stopped being friends and barely saw each other. He lost everything while ending a ten thousand year war.

But what he saw next confused him the most.

He saw himself building a life with another man. A man he barely connected with. A man who tied him to Earth when his love and life were amongst the stars. He watched horrified as this other version of himself gave up everything he had spent his life trying to build for the sake of, of…he wasn’t sure what. He couldn’t figure out what had appealed about this man. He couldn’t believe that he would do this to himself, let alone involve another person in his admittedly, and occasionally, self destructive ways.

He woke up with a gasp. He felt nauseous as he recalled the scenes that had played out in his head. He could feel the panic rising as it had all felt so real. He focused on his breathing and tried to calm down. He couldn’t let Keith see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this.

‘_Be calm my Paladin_.’

“Black?”

Shiro felt a familiar presence in his head and smiled. At least something was different from whatever those dreams were. Calm washed over him at the evidence that he hadn’t lost his connection to Black like he had in those visions. The ideas that they would drift apart once they returned to Earth and that they would let Allura die was terrifying. He didn’t want to believe that they were capable of such distance. Did they really mean so little to each other?

“What was all that Black?”

‘_Something that you needed to see_.’

“Wait! You made me see those? Were, were they real?”

‘_In a way_.’

“What does that mean? Did this happen?”

‘_That is for you to decide_.’

“Black that’s not helpful.”

Black stopped talking with him at that point. He didn’t understand what was going on. Why had Black shown him those visions? What was he supposed to do about them? All he knew is that he didn’t want them to come true.

The doors to the cargo bay opened and Keith stepped through. He rushed to Shiro’s side and helped him sit up.

“Are you alright?” He asked. He couldn’t help but notice that Shiro looked distressed and certainly didn’t look like he had rested well.

Shiro simply looked at Keith. What did he say? That Black had shown him visions of a horrible future where they were no longer friends and they lost Allura. He swallowed but didn’t know what to say. What could he say?

Keith didn’t know what to make of Shiro’s silence but couldn’t help but notice he was still in Paladin armour.

“Hey, let’s get you more comfortable.” He said as he began to undo the clasps on Shiro’s armour which left him in his under suit.

Shiro watched Keith’s movements and was taken aback by how selfless this man was. Here he was taking care of him, again, and expecting nothing in return. Keith had always done so much for him. He’d supported him, loved him and stood by his side through thick and thin and done with all thinking he would receive nothing alike in return.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of Keith’s face as he worked. How could he ever repay the devotion Keith had showed him? The memories of his dream came back and he felt sick at the idea that after everything Keith had done for him, that after everything they’d been through that he would walk away from this amazing, beautiful, courageous, strong man.

Keith could feel Shiro’s stare as he removed the armour pieces. When he finished he looked up and him and was taken aback by the expression in his face. But what did he make of it? He knew that Shiro would be recovering from all he had been through for a while so he didn’t know what to make of his actions. Were they genuine or a reaction to all he’d been through? He pushed those thoughts away. Shiro wasn’t like that. His actions towards him had always been genuine. It gave his heart hope but the doubt kept him from believing it could be true.

“Keith.”

He didn’t have time to ask any questions when Shiro fell into his arms again.

“Sorry. Guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

Keith nodded as Shiro settled in his arms. Shiro let himself relax knowing Keith was right beside him. His dreams were still fresh in his mind and prevented him from falling asleep but he felt better being with someone. It was a welcome distraction from his own thoughts.

“Shiro could you sit up for a second?”

He nodded and sat up, wondering what Keith was doing. A brief moment of panic hit him that Keith would be leaving. An apology was on his lips when he looked at Keith and noticed that he was taking off his armour. Shiro couldn’t help but watch as Keith stripped down to his undersuit. Keith looked shyly back at Shiro after he had put his armour in a pile next to his own.

It didn’t take long for Shiro to return to Keith’s arms. Shiro’s mind finally began to quieten down. He focused on the sensation of resting on Keith’s chest and on the hand that was running up and down his arm. It was a welcome distraction from the dreams. He felt safe and protected in Keith’s arms. He was surprised by how much he wanted to stay there.

“Thank you.” Shiro whispered. He felt like if he spoke any louder he would disturb something that he really didn’t want to disturb.

Keith nodded and they fell into silence again.

Shiro began to feel his eyes droop again. He hoped that being in Keith’s arms chased away the nightmares.

* * *

Shiro woke up much later to find he was still resting on Keith’s chest. He looked up at Keith’s face and took the chance to examine it.

Keith was beautiful to look at at. High cheekbones, angular face and gorgeous blue-violet eyes. His eyes fell on the scar on his cheek and he felt guilty. He hated that he had hurt Keith. He knew that he had been under Haggar’s control but it had still been him that had hurt Keith. He had been the one to press the blade to his cheek and try to kill him. He had said the words that he knew would hurt the most. Haggar hadn’t made him say them but he had said them anyway.

How could Keith forgive any of that? How did he look passed what had happened? How did he deserve someone as incredible as Keith?

The questions about his worthiness for Keith continued when he heard a rumble in the back of his mind. Black grumbled at her Paladins thoughts. She didn’t like it and knew that this line of thinking had led to the reality that she had shown him. She hoped he stopped, and soon. It would be in all their best interests. She hoped that her other Paladin could stop it before it went too far.

Shiro smiled when he felt Black grumble. He concentrated on Keith again and was surprised to find his eyes open.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Did you sleep better?”

“Yes, Thank you.”

Shiro sat up, with Keith’s help, and couldn’t help but miss the warmth of Keith’s arms. Both of them missed him being in Keith’s arms. They shared a smile but said nothing.

The doors behind them opened and Krolia walked through.

“Keith, the other Paladins are requesting your presence.”

Keith nodded and stood up. He picked up his armour and began to put it back on. Once it was secure he helped Shiro into his own.

Krolia watched as her son fussed over the older man. No words were spoken between them but she could tell that words were still being shared. It was in the looks and touches. It was in the casual intimacy that existed between the pair. Krolia recalled their time on the space whale and how Keith had spoken so fondly of Shiro. It had been obvious that her son’s affections for the man ran deeper than he was willing to admit. Having been witness to the kiss shared between them she was glad to know that his affections were returned.

Krolia was brought out of her thoughts when the two men walked passed her and into the cockpit. Keith took his seat with Shiro and his mother either side of him.

* * *

“Oh geez, it’s good to stretch my legs.” Lance exclaimed as he walked towards camp rolling his arm.

Everyone rolled their eyes. They had only spent the night in their Lions.

Everyone was doing something, all apart from Shiro. He sat at the fire and couldn’t help but feel useless. His energy was still low and his balance was all over the place. He was also finding having just one arm to be more difficult than he thought. And no, he wasn’t pouting about it!

He sat alone and tried not to watch Keith. Ever since they had communicated with the others there had been an awkward tension between the two. He didn’t know what to do about it. Did he confront Keith? But he felt like it was something that should happen in private. Could they really afford to deal with it now? Especially when they still had to plan their next move and fight a war?

He argued with himself about it. He went back and forth trying to decide the best course of action. He felt a push from the Black Lion and turned to look at her. She stood as statuesque as ever but he could feel her pushing at him in his mind. Every time he thought about confronting Keith he felt something similar to a purr from Black.

His nerves escalated as he considered actually doing it. He had never considered himself a cowardly man but Keith meant too much to him to mess up what was between them. He recalled the scenes of the possible future that Black had shown him and felt the need to do something. But should he? He didn’t want that future to happen. He wanted to stop it, reach out to Keith but he wasn’t sure he could. Could he really live with himself if he ruined things with Keith because he assumed something was there that really wasn’t?

He felt Black in his mind again and his attention turned to Keith who was lifting crates into one of the Lions. He swallowed as nerves settled in his stomach. He willed himself to stand up and his feet felt like lead weights as he took each step towards Keith.

It had been a long time since he had felt as nervous as he did right now. If he did this then it would change everything between him and Keith forever. He hoped it would be for the better.

“Uh, Keith, could we...could we talk?”

Keith looked up at Shiro and noticed that he looked nervous, “Sure.”

Shiro motioned for Keith to follow him and he led them to a short distance away where they would be out of earshot. Shiro opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure how to start. Keith tilted his head in confusion and Shiro felt his heart beat faster.

“Shiro?”

“Um, well, c-could we um, talk?”

“You said that already.”

Shiro scratched the back of his head, “So I did.”

“Shiro, is everything alright?”

“Yes!...I mean, yes. Why wouldn’t they be?”

“Are you sure you’re alright? Should I get Allura?”

“No!” Shiro cleared his throat, “No. Sorry. I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Nervous? What about?”

Shiro took a deep breath. It was now or never, “I wanted to talk about the kiss.”

“Oh. Right.”

“I just...”

Keith shook his head and looked down, “It’s okay Shiro. We can forget that it ever happened. We can go back to normal.”

Shiro couldn’t help but feel disappointed, “Oh, okay. I mean, if that’s what you want.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” Keith asked, looking up at Shiro through his bangs.

“No. It’s not what I want.”

“Are you sure?”

Shiro was confused, “Yes I’m sure. Why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t think you would. Not on purpose.” The last sentence was whispered and if there had been any noise around them Shiro was sure he wouldn’t have heard it.

“Keith? What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Shiro stared at Keith and saw the slump in his shoulders and disappointment and sadness radiated off of him. Something in Shiro desperately wanted to change this and see Keith smile. He recalled the dreams he’d had and could see how seeing those had almost made him pull away from Keith.

Wait! Was it possible Keith had seen something similar? He knew that Keith had seen visions while on the space whale. Could he have seen visions of the future as well?

Keith seemed to retreat more into himself as the silence continued. He turned away to walk away. He wanted to stay friends with Shiro. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost him and he didn’t want anything to come between them. Not his feelings nor the kiss they had shared.

Shiro suddenly felt panic. He didn’t know why but he felt like this was his only chance and if he let Keith walk away now he would lose him forever. He reached out and grabbed Keith’s wrist to keep him from walking away. Keith stopped but didn’t turn back around.

“You know when I was dreaming I didn’t just dream of you.” Shiro said.

Keith looked back at Shiro confused. Shiro had never seen Keith’s head whip around so fast.

Shiro continued, “I also dreamt of a future where everything went wrong. We won the war but lost each other. I don’t want to lose you Keith. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You seemed fine without me.”

Shiro’s head tilted, “So you’ve seen the dreams too. When?”

Keith’s eyes widened when Shiro’s words registered and he realised what he had said. He looked down at the ground but didn’t pull away.

“Keith? You’ve seen the same visions, haven’t you?”

Keith nodded but didn’t say anything. He heard Shiro take a step closer and turned to look at him. Shiro took in a sudden deep breath when he saw the emotion swirling in Keith’s eyes. He was captivated by Keith’s eyes. They were beautiful. They reminded Shiro of the night sky and the stars. He could stare at them forever. He found it easy to fall in love with Keith’s eyes when they reminded him so much of his first love, space. But that didn’t mean he knew how to handle this situation.

“But they’re just visions. Nothing is set in stone.”

“Shiro, they’re visions of the future.”

Shiro shook his head, “No. They’re visions of one possible future. Not the only future there will be.”

Keith scoffed and shook his head.

“Keith, don’t you think we should get to decide what our own futures will be?” Shiro said softly as he took another step towards Keith. There was now very little space between them.

Shiro let go of Keith’s wrist and took his hand instead. Keith looked up and watched Shiro’s face. He was clearly searching for something. Shiro had no idea if Keith found what he was looking for but he could help but feel like time was running out for the two of them.

He squeezed Keith’s hand, “I don’t want to let some visions dictate my life. Besides Black seemed to have taken quite a dislike to them.”

Keith chuckled. He squeezed Shiro’s hand in response and for the first time looked up at Shiro with a smile on his face.

“I don’t want to lose you Keith. I also don’t want some visions to dictate my life. I know that there’s more we need to talk about, and we will, but I want to know if there’s a chance for us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, us.”

He let go of Keith’s hand and raised it to gently cup Keith’s cheek. Keith slowly leaned into it. His eyes now gleamed with a different emotion and Shiro found himself smiling.

“I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Shiro leaned down and gingerly pressed his lips to Keith’s. He slowly pulled away and both shared a smile.

“And Keith...I love you too.”

Keith’s smile grew and a blush formed on his cheeks. He threw his arms around Shiro’s neck and kissed him again.

* * *

Years later Shiro leaned against the door and watched as Keith played with their children in front of their home. He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. Keith looked up and waved at him, the ring on his finger glinting in the sunlight. Shiro’s heart fluttered at seeing the ring that matched his own.

His children’s laughs filled his heart with joy.

But he couldn’t help but reminisce about all that they had been through.

The return to Earth, the Galra invasion and the war. All of it had been life changing and he was eternally grateful that they had been able to save Allura from sacrificing herself.

However the largest challenge they had faced had been when Shiro had become Captain of the ATLAS. When they had met the crew, the man that Shiro had married in their visions had been a member. It had shaken them both and Shiro had been very close to requesting the man be removed from his crew.

The presence of the man had resulted in a growing tension between the two of them. Keith’s doubts and insecurities had raced to the surface and he had tried to pull away. While Shiro had had to deal with his fears and he had tried to hold onto Keith more tightly. It hadn’t been smooth sailing and they had argued but luckily they had made it through.

Shiro looked down at his ring as he recalled how he had proposed to Keith at the celebration after the war. He wanted Keith to know he was committed to their relationship and to him. It hadn’t hurt to know that it was a physical promise to the spend the rest of his days with the love of his life.

He had thought that he couldn’t get any happier than spending the rest of his days with Keith as they travelled the universe and helped those in need. But he had been wrong. The day that he held each of his children in his arms had felt his happiness only increase.

Now he had a family. One made up of the other Paladins, their families and his own.

Once upon a time he never would’ve thought this was possible, not with his disease and later not being stuck in the Black Lion’s consciousness. Now he had all he had never dared to dream of.

“Daddy, come play us!”

The call from his daughter broke him from his thoughts. He pushed himself away from the door and walked out to his daughter. He picked her up causing her to squeal with laughter. He set her back down and listened as she explained the game.

“You okay?” Keith asked as he stood beside him.

“Never better.” He placed a kiss on the corner of Keith’s mouth before returning his attention to his children.

He had never been so glad he had taken the chance and never let go.


End file.
